10 Things I Learned at a Concert

I recently had the opportunity to a) attend my first real outdoor concert, Rascal Flatts at the North Island Credit Union Amphitheater, and b) realize how old and inexperienced I feel at events like this, especially when accompanied by my parents. When my dad approached me with the idea in May, I agreed to go thinking that it would make for a nice, quiet evening spending time with my parents and other older people listening to the guy I’d heard on our car stereo on road trips growing up. Boy, was I wrong! I quickly (and laughingly) realized that not only is Rascal Flatts not a person *smacks forehead,* it is a band enjoyed by thousands of youngsters like me (although using the word “youngster” makes me sound like I’m eighty). Read on to laugh at my other concert faux pas.

1. Tailgating is legal, except it’s too hot and I’m old

As I squinted through the clouds of dust produced as we inched forward in a never-ending line of cars into the dirt lot, I was shocked to see hoards of young people (some appallingly underage) shotgunning beers and dancing wildly around their pick-up trucks with the police standing unsuspectingly nearby. Oddly enough, this scene seemed familiar despite my distaste for beer and partying. As I sighed and opened Instagram to pass the time, it occurred to me that THIS was where my peers, particularly the popular crowd with an affinity for rebellion, took all their concert Insta pics. So THAT was how things worked. I always remembered being slightly confused--how does one drive their car into a concert, much less bring their own beverages? I shook my head and smiled at my lack of concert field experience, then looked out the window again, fascinated. I began to get a sinking feeling that I had somehow missed an opportunity in my youth, and because I was attending the concert with my parents instead of drunkenly rocking out to “Old Town Road” beforehand like everyone else my age, I was decidedly “uncool.” I shared this unfortunate revelation with my parents, who pointed out that they had been there for hours and it was extremely hot outside. As I hopped out of the car and walked toward the venue hand in hand with my mom and dad, I felt a bit more confidence rising in my chest.

2. Gotta dress cute for the gram

However, this feeling turned out to be temporary as I was affronted with the sight of tan, perfectly rounded behinds peeking out of what looked like denim underwear, perfectly braided or curled locks streaming out from under bedazzled stetsons, and perfectly knotted flannels presumably borrowed from buff boyfriends in tight jeans standing close by. I glanced down at my black leggings and tie-dyed long sleeve. What was I doing, going to see a 60s cover band perform at the casino? My cheeks turned red with embarrassment and heat stroke due to the long sleeve choice as we found our spot in line, the sun beating down on us as we waited to enter the venue.

3.  The strong independent woman you met in line who came alone all the way from El Centro should be your role model

I was about to succumb to the heat and boredom when the middle-aged lady with carefully straightened, long blonde hair and a made-up face behind me began to chat with us. Interestingly, no one appeared to be accompanying her. She mentioned how she had come all the way from El Centro to enjoy another concert at the North Island Credit Union Amphitheater, which she lovingly remembered as the Coors Amphitheater where she saw her first concert in her youth and kept coming back through the years as a treat to herself. As she detailed her other solo trips, phrases like “YAS queen” and “keep doing you boo” threatened to escape from my lips. I have struggled with the feeling of being alone throughout my college years, and seeing someone being on their own and loving it thoroughly inspired me.

4. Don’t trust your dad to download an app with the tickets on it

Sadly, we had to go our separate ways to go through security. Things were going smoothly despite the fact that the fennel seeds in my purse slightly resembled gunpowder, until my dad held our electronic tickets up to the lady to scan and she furrowed her brow in confusion. Apparently, dad had successfully downloaded the required app, but did not realize he needed to download our tickets to the app as well. I smacked my forehead, wishing my millennial skills were consulted to aid in the process. The reality of a long drive home with only a crappy dollar store dinner and a long, hot wait in line to show for it made me cringe at our lack of concert know-how. Luckily, a friendly ticket booth lady was able to help us and we were allowed to re-enter through the express line. Crisis averted (or so I thought)...

5. Use the buddy system or else you’ll lose your dad

By that time, the water I had chugged to avoid keeling over in line reached my bladder, so I hurried up the large grassy hill to the restroom after we had claimed a spot on the green.  I scanned the ever-growing crowd for my dad upon my return and alarmingly could not find him despite my 20/20 vision. I must’ve looked extremely lost or quite intoxicated as I stumbled among picnic blankets and Bud-Lites littered on the lawn. My mom, who took slightly longer in the bathroom, had to come to my rescue. To our delight, we soon found my dad by sniffing out kettle corn, which we found him purchasing from a nearby vendor. I was soon very grateful for my dad’s foresight as the snack lines grew unfathomingly long.

6. Screen your concert neighbors well cuz you’ll be sharing a very small space with them for hours

Halfway through the concert, a flock of rowdy teens staked a claim right next to us. When the drunkest man turned around and began conversing with us (a lot of f-bombs were dropped into the mix), I quickly realized that what I thought were rebellious teenage hoodlums were actually people in their 30s! Suddenly I didn’t feel so bad about attending a concert with my parents.

7. Concert sunsets are the best/ 8. Bring a phone charger

As the sun painted the sky a vibrant orange and hot pink, I reached for my phone to capture the beauty of the sunset. However, I had to hurry to get the perfect shot as my phone was at 2%, and I neglected to bring my phone charger! I groaned at what seemed like my millionth concert faux pas. How else was I to capture illegal concert footage to display on social media for all to see??? (or not see, as I usually click right through those things on my friends’ insta stories. Sorry, guys). But I soon found that my lack of phone allowed me to truly absorb my surroundings and enjoy this unique, pleasant moment with my parents, my health one-hundred-percent cooperating with me for once.

9. Bring friends and do this more often

I couldn’t help but smile looking around at dressed-up groups of friends dancing, laughing, drinking, and sharing snacks with each other huddling on cozy blankets wearing blissful smiles as boppy music wafted through the air. Though I was very happy to be able to share a fun evening with my parents, I couldn’t help but miss the fellowship of my university friends. Maybe my friends and I could become outdoor concert junkies! I grinned at the thought.

10. Jk I’m too old for this

My opinion slowly changed as the openers dragged on, with Rascal Flatts eventually making their grand entrance at 10pm. I drifted off to sleep in my lawn chair covered in blankets as my peers kept dancing vigorously while singing along passionately. “Life is a Highway” gave me quite the second wind, during which I “really cut the rug” according to my dad’s observations. Soon after, savvy concert-goers began to filter out to beat the post-show traffic, but  we decided to stick it out until the end of the performance after all our effort to stay awake thus far. Curled up in our truck’s backseat with legs cramping like crazy as we waited for millions of cars to leave the parking lot, I came to regret that decision. After an hours’ drive home with the seat belt cutting into my side with every bump, we staggered across our doorstep and finally made it to bed at 2am. I woke up at 12pm the next day feeling as hung over as the drunken man next to us likely felt, though I had not consumed a drop of alcohol the previous night. However, I was buzzed with happiness at the fun I had and all I had learned. As I rose from bed sore from all the standing and dancing from the night before, I shook my head and said with a smile, “I’m too old for this.”